yeah, it's been a while. i've been living my life. all the ups and downs *hahahaha have to gthing of where i left my aunti e maime dvd. i'd like to watch it again. just watheched a great movie called "Spider". Gonna read the book . ralph fiennes plays a psychotic that goes through the memories is of his childhood. i love that stars are getting back into really acting . this movie was an independent filem and had several famous names. the art is coming out again - hopefully it woasn't driven by money. walked the central park this afternoon. the day slipps away when you wake up so late in the day, but i got to be d late. same thing will happen tonight i'm sure. but at lseast this tim e i took a nap beigning to feel restless again. i'm sure it's a little bit due to the weather, no that's not right. it's probably because i'm thinking too much about being alone. although i'm man introvert, enjoying life on you rown is on...
The weather today was fantastic. A cool breeze danced with warm sun rays as I walked down Lexington Avenue. Had a nice conversation with my sis and decided, maybe it wasn't too late to go to Coney Island. My feet already carried me from 82nd street to 51st, so I hopped on a 2nd Avenue bus and enjoyed a ride further downtown. I could catch the D or the F at Bleeker street and that would take me to directly to Coney Island. I got off the bus at 3rd street and walked to Bleeker and Lafayette. The F came shortly after. Last year was supposed to be the last year for Astroland Park. They are renovating Coney Island and wanted to tear this down. Not so! When I got off the train, the Cyclone was whirring, the Wonder Wheel was turning, and the smell of food drifted my way. Guess we're on for another year! One of the main reasons I wanted to come back to Coney Island was to touch another piece of history. The Parachute Ride, brought to the then Steeplechase Amusement park after ...
So it's 4:10pm on a saturday afternoon. The sun is shining brightly and i long to be outside. Where am i? I'm sitting on the couch, crocheting watching Frasier episodes on Netflix. What does this say about me? I'll tell you. I've come to a point in my life where i'm truly frozen with indecision. I've made a career for myself doing something i'm good at, but not necessarily what i enjoy. I've gone to a school on borrowed money that promises to keep me financially "land locked" for almost a lifetime and i don't know what i want to do. Well, when i really think about it, that's not true. It seems i'm denying my true wants out of fear of failure. Fear of losing the status i've built up around myself. If i asked myself what i want to be, my immediate answer has been subconsciously hushed because i don't think it will happen or will make me successful. Strange how that fear has severely compromised my happiness. Fo...
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