Posts

Showing posts from April, 2012

finding the fear

so i just had this thought come to mind. just had a friend of mine (an ex) ask me for money. we've borrowed from each other in the past and probably will for a little while. I'm paying him back and this could be seen as a type of advance. but i'm going off on a tangent... while i sit here looking through my bank's website thoughts of providing for someone cross my mind. i've made it a very strong point to be the provider in the lives of those i care about. whether it be financially, emotionally or otherwise. i look back at what i had - a dear troubled soul, riddled with guilt and instability who never could make ends meet financially. It was another case of me taking on the mother role and making myself feel needed and important. i took a step back to analyze this feeling. with my current relationship, my boyfriend is ready to pay for meals, offer me gifts and treat me the way I've been treating others. so i have to ask myself why i feel so guilty ta