freewrite

Wow.. it's been quite a while since i wrote last.  For those that are still tuned in, here are some updates:

I'm still with my marvelous boyfriend who is more supportive than ever.  I'm definitely going back to school and have to really get my ass in gear.  My first attempt at GRE's was pure failure (at least for me) and since i'm going back to school for a PhD, i really have to get on the grades.  sigh....

Also, since i last wrote, there has been a change in my schooling plan.  I wanted to go for therapy at first, but then i decided to go all the way for a doctorate.  Then i can do research and study people like i always wanted to.

I'm working on my focus which is easier to handle when i have more sleep... imagine that.  I also found that caffeine allows me to bypass the filter i put on my thoughts before they go to my mouth.  This proved that i'm thinking too much and syphoning what i say because of social norms and other fears of not being accepted.  I don't want to start up a caffeine habit, so i want to try to break down that filter on my own.

I also want to start writing again.  Perhaps part of the reason my flow of words has worsened is because i'm not writing every day like i used to.  This is an important part of my development that shouldn't be stopped.  So i will attempt a freewrite in my writing journal and in this one so i can get back in the habit.  I used to hate when i missed a day of writing when i was younger.  Where the hell is that conviction now?

ah well.  good night, blogger!

 ^_^