Write Every Day!

 Wow... it’s been forever again since I’ve written anything in here.  Freewriting, making sure you are keeping the flow going no matter what. Perhaps I’ll start the dr. horrible... or dr. something writing exercises again. this may come out more like a journal entry, but i suppose I’ll do that as well.  GUESS WHAT...???  I HAVE BEEN WRITING!   Since writing in here last, I’ve met up with some Star Trek friends who were really into cosplay.  that lead to meeting others who were in the entertainment industry and that led to doing a Cosplay Cabaret.  So, three years later, I’ve been doing shows where I’m writing my own lyrics to parody songs.  Like a MF dream come true.  I can’t believe it’s taken me this long but at least I arrived here. I’d like to strengthen this muscle again as I feel like my writing prowess was much better in high school, but then so many things were skewed then. It’s time to acknowledge all the things I’ve accomplished as an adult and maybe one day I’ll see those th

Wow.. it's been quite a while since i wrote last.  For those that are still tuned in, here are some updates: I'm still with my marvelous boyfriend who is more supportive than ever.  I'm definitely going back to school and have to really get my ass in gear.  My first attempt at GRE's was pure failure (at least for me) and since i'm going back to school for a PhD, i really have to get on the grades.  sigh.... Also, since i last wrote, there has been a change in my schooling plan.  I wanted to go for therapy at first, but then i decided to go all the way for a doctorate.  Then i can do research and study people like i always wanted to. I'm working on my focus which is easier to handle when i have more sleep... imagine that.  I also found that caffeine allows me to bypass the filter i put on my thoughts before they go to my mouth.  This proved that i'm thinking too much and syphoning what i say because of social norms and other fears of not being acc

so i just had this thought come to mind. just had a friend of mine (an ex) ask me for money. we've borrowed from each other in the past and probably will for a little while. I'm paying him back and this could be seen as a type of advance. but i'm going off on a tangent... while i sit here looking through my bank's website thoughts of providing for someone cross my mind. i've made it a very strong point to be the provider in the lives of those i care about. whether it be financially, emotionally or otherwise. i look back at what i had - a dear troubled soul, riddled with guilt and instability who never could make ends meet financially. It was another case of me taking on the mother role and making myself feel needed and important. i took a step back to analyze this feeling. with my current relationship, my boyfriend is ready to pay for meals, offer me gifts and treat me the way I've been treating others. so i have to ask myself why i feel so guilty ta

So it's 4:10pm on a saturday afternoon. The sun is shining brightly and i long to be outside. Where am i? I'm sitting on the couch, crocheting watching Frasier episodes on Netflix. What does this say about me? I'll tell you. I've come to a point in my life where i'm truly frozen with indecision. I've made a career for myself doing something i'm good at, but not necessarily what i enjoy. I've gone to a school on borrowed money that promises to keep me financially "land locked" for almost a lifetime and i don't know what i want to do. Well, when i really think about it, that's not true. It seems i'm denying my true wants out of fear of failure. Fear of losing the status i've built up around myself. If i asked myself what i want to be, my immediate answer has been subconsciously hushed because i don't think it will happen or will make me successful. Strange how that fear has severely compromised my happiness. Fo

con ayuda de google translate, quiero aprendir y practicar vocabulario. no es facil, pero quiero intentar.

It's been SO long since i've wanted to write. well, when i've been at the computer at least. i get the urge, but then get lazy. even though i keep a notepad with me at all times it takes some effort to pull it out of my bag an d stop a moment. to take a breath out of life instead of just trudging through on my way soemewhere else. netflix lit up my nostalgia with Swan Princess. i really do think i'll be getting rid of cable. there are so many movies and tv shows i can watch commercial free, why should i bother with channels i jus t flip through to numb my mind? man, i love As Time Goes By. Nice and easy weekend coming up. Going to see Billy Elliott tomorrow afternoon then figure out how i'm going to make a banner for the marathon runners on sunday. They will be right outside my window ^___^ streamers, shiney ribbons and some other things to welcome them to harlem. i love supporting people that are striving for a goal. the structure gives me peace. i'